


I Wish

by Laurincia



Series: Remember? [1]
Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood, Friends to Enemies, Insomnia, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, heavily implied rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurincia/pseuds/Laurincia
Summary: Sébastien could never hate Ryad. Not even after all he’s done. He just can’t admit it out loud until he was kneeling in a pool of blood, holding a cold body in his arms.





	I Wish

**Author's Note:**

> I spent two days writing this back to back, and I'm honestly super proud of it.
> 
> For this, Buck and Jackal are around the same age
> 
> If you have any questions, feel free to ask, because I don't think I explained things as well as I intended. I'm pretty sure that there are some timeline inaccuracies, so if you see anything that might not make sense or is questionable, please let me know!

No one really cared to know about the tensions between Sébastien and Ryad during high school. They just assumed that they had a falling out, and left it at that. They rarely interacted after the first year of high school. However, they were best friends in elementary and middle school, inseparable. Sometimes, Ryad would disappear for a few days to a month, for no reason whatsoever, but he would always come back with a smile on his face, acting like nothing happened. Sébastien had asked his parents what they thought about him constantly disappearing. They told Sébastien that he might have foster parents. Sébastien didn’t know what they meant at the time and left it at that.

 

They would always walk out of school together when the last bell rang. Sébastien would wait with Ryad for his brother or his family member to come pick him up before he walked home himself. He would never forget the first time he waited with Ryad. His brother, Faisal had come to pick him up. When Ryad noticed, he had instantly become even happier than before, if that was even possible, and ran towards Faisal and jumped into his arms, laughing. He had happily introduced Sébastien to Faisal. He had called Ryad, ‘Chacal’ every time Faisal came to pick him up. Sébastien noticed that whenever Ryad disappears and returns sometime later, a different parent would come pick him up if his brother wasn't able to. He never brought it up.

 

During the summer, Ryad had messaged him saying that Faisal was officially his guardian. Sébastien congratulated him.

 

~~

 

Sixth grade rolled around, and they were still the best of friends. Ryad had changed in the middle of the year. He was a little less outgoing and more cautious and wary of people around him. No one seemed to notice but Sébastien. It wasn't until Ryad had come to school one day with bruises on his arms that Sébastien figured something was very wrong. It was only then that Sébastien knew what ‘foster parents’ meant.

 

During the summer, Ryad had hit a growth spurt and was taller than Sébastien by a whole head. Ryad had started coming to school progressively more and more exhausted, but he had always tried to maintain his energy, especially around Sébastien. Their second class was gym and their first class was the closest to the locker rooms, so they were always the first ones in the locker rooms. They were changing out when Sébastien had noticed various bruises and cuts littering Ryad’s torso and legs. Sébastien didn’t want to ask. He feared that he already knew what was happening when he wasn’t with Ryad.

 

Ever since elementary school, Sébastien would always invite Ryad over to spend the night at his parent's house. He was always ecstatic, but even more so in the coming years.

 

Sébastien still waited with Ryad after school. He would still be happy whenever Faisal came to pick him up, and just straight up hesitant to leave with his foster parents if Faisal didn’t pick him up. Sébastien finally knew why the next year.

 

~~

 

It wasn’t until the first year of high school that something was really wrong with Ryad. He started getting more aggressive and was more exhausted. He was losing sleep and was taking it out on people around him. It killed Sébastien to see his best friend like this. He still waited with him for his brother or foster parents every day. They never spoke, but Sébastien didn’t really mind. Maybe something more was going on behind closed doors that Sébastien didn’t know about. Faisal had only come to pick up Ryad once during that year. Sébastien never saw much of Faisal after the first year of high school.

 

Sébastien tried not to let the fact that something was definitely happening to Ryad bother him too much. Ryad tried to hide it, but he was never really successful. It hurt Sébastien.

 

One day, Ryad was particularly aggressive, not just towards Sébastien, but towards everyone that came near him. He would walk quickly and push through the crowds to get to his next class but was always tardy. Sébastien had greeted him during passing period, and something that happened that never did before. Sébastien was still a nearly a head shorter than Ryad who was at a staggering six foot three, and he had lightly pat Ryad on the arm, smiling and just saying a simple ‘hello.’

Ryad snapped and pushed Sébastien back so hard he slammed into the lockers behind him with a loud bang. Everyone that heard stopped to see what happened.

“Ryad?” Sébastien asked, shocked.

The other was breathing heavily. Many emotions were seen scrolling through Ryad’s face, anger, hatred, regret, _fear_. Ryad clenched his fists and walked away.

Ryad never interacted with Sébastien never spoke to Sébastien for the remainder of that year. Whenever Sébastien walked home after school, he would always see Ryad standing in the spot where they used to wait for Faisal. He would stand there for a minute, before leaving.

 

~~

 

Something happened during the summer of the second year. Ryad was starting to act like how he used to be during elementary and middle school, just not with him. Sébastien had met a lovely girl named Tina. She had helped him after the locker incident. He had told her everything that had happened with Ryad, from beginning to end. She was a good friend.

 

During passing periods and in select classes, Sébastien would always see Ryad staring at him from the corner of his eye. He never thought much about it. If Ryad wanted to ignore him, then Sébastien would let him.

 

Sébastien had decided to join football during the second year. He barely made it to tryouts because there was a test, but he made it nonetheless. Tina was sitting on the bleachers, cheering him on. He didn’t see Ryad standing by the announcers stand, silently watching.

 

He had made it onto the team as a guard. Practices were underway, and Tina had decided to join cheerleading alongside her friend, Siu. He had gained several pounds of muscle and was technically overweight by nearly twenty-eight pounds, according to the body mass index. The coach didn’t really care about it though. He was a good player. Sébastien never bothered to know anyone on the team on a deeper level than their name and position, other than the center; Elias, who was an exchange student from Germany. Anyone that didn’t know how to say words with accents, would constantly mix up their last names. They became instant friends, and Tina teased Sébastien relentlessly about it, saying they should be a couple. Sébastien didn’t really have any objections to the idea. He liked Elias, he was funny, knew just how to use humor to defuse situations.

 

And thus, Tina and Siu made it their mission in the school year to get Elias and Sébastien to date. It didn’t take much to get them started, in fact, Tina and Siu didn’t even need to do much. Elias just needed a little push to get started, and they were on a date the next week. In all honesty, Sébastien hasn’t felt happier since they started dating. A couple days later, he had forgotten all about Ryad. Sébastien spent the night at Elias’ house and instantly fell in love with his energetic little corgi named Blitz, who loved to play with flashlights. Luckily, the team didn’t really care or mind that they were dating, as long as it didn’t get in the way of the games.

 

~~

 

The first game was a month later. Tina and Siu were on the track alongside the rest of the cheer team, doing their thing, getting the crowd pumped up. Sébastien took his place on Elias’ right, and they nodded to each other before staring down the opposing team’s center and guard. They waited for the quarterback’s commands and launched into action.

 

They had won the game. Tina likes to think that it was her cheering that made them win. Elias just laughed and invited everyone (Sébastien, Tina, and Siu) out for dinner. As they were walking to Elias’ car, something caught Sébastien’s attention. Ryad, standing by the fence, staring down into the field. “Sébastien? You okay?” Tina asked.

Sébastien snapped back into reality and nodded. He got into the passenger seat and Elias drove them to the nearest Red Robin.

 

The food was good, and all were charged onto Elias’ debit card that’s bankrolled by his parents. Elias drove the two girls home before taking his sweet time getting to Sébastien’s house.

“Is there a reason you’re going so slow?” Sébastien asked.

“I was want to be with you a little while longer,” Elias explained.

Sébastien smiled and leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes.

 

~~

 

Sébastien had invited Elias to spend the night. His parents were out on a business trip, so they wouldn’t really mind. They had spent the entire night talking about anything that came to mind. Ryad became one of the topics an hour in. Memories flooded Sébastien and Elias quickly told him that he didn’t need to tell him anything if he didn’t want to. Sébastien shook his head and said that he wanted to. He felt that he needed to. Ryad’s entire existence was a heavy weight that was constantly pressing down on him. He wanted Elias to know. He _needed_ Elias to know. And so he told Elias everything. Everything, from beginning to end, from when they were in elementary together, his brother, the bruises, and cuts he saw on him in the locker room, high school, _everything_. Elias listened, not speaking. He let Sébastien pour out his heart, everything that was weighing him down would now be his burden as well. They would get through it together. As much as Sébastien wished he could say he hated Ryad, he couldn’t. Not even after all the ignoring, the blank looks, Sébastien couldn't hate Ryad.

 

~~

 

In between football matches were soccer games. Siu’s good friends, Chul and Liu were on the team. She dragged someone named Grace (who was one of the player’s step-sister) and Tina to the game, who would go on to take Sébastien and Elias with her. Siu had also said something about a jackal before they all sat down at a good spot to see the match. Sébastien didn't really mind, he had nothing better to do than lift weights or diet. He'd much rather be with his friends watching a game he knew almost nothing about.

 

The players entered the field in a semi-organized fashion. Instantly, Siu cheered on her friends who found her in the crowd and waved. Sébastien had scanned the players, memorizing the many faces and numbers associated with them, when he saw Ryad standing by the coach, giving orders to the team. They did stretches, and soon the game was on. Ryad wasn't as fast as someone like Chul, but he made up for it with fancy and intricate footwork, seemingly to be able to predict where the opposing team would go and how they would get there. Sébastien found that he couldn't look away.

 

The game was over, with the opposing team losing by a landslide. Siu had dragged everyone along to meet her friends after the game. They were all introduced one by one and clicked instantly. Chul was the ‘actions speak louder than words’ type, and had a very low tolerance to excess and unnecessary sound. He loved absolute silence.

Liu on the other hand, was more laid back. He's rather resilient, able to take more hits than the average soccer player and is able to push through challenges with sheer willpower and maybe a bit of stupidity. Sébastien quite liked them. Grace was nice, albeit a bit loud. She was constantly on her phone or on some sort of electronic device, programming and tinkering with everything, from internal wires to apps. She said she was working on a distraction.

 

Almost everyone had left the field and school by the time Sébastien made it into the school. He wandered the empty halls aimlessly, going wherever his legs take him. He ends up in the indoor track on the second floor of the gym, and follows the line, walking down the long stretch of track before stopping in front of the weight room doors. Someone was inside, running on a treadmill. They had their hoodie on with headphones and was jogging at a steady pace without breaking a sweat. Sébastien decides to take a walk around the track to clear his mind.

 

By the time he was done waking a slow lap around the track, the person on the treadmill was done, and stepped out of the weight room, drinking water and stretching. It was Ryad. They made eye contact and stood still. “Ryad,” Sébastien greeted.

“Sébastien,” Ryad did the same. An empty tone, no emotion whatsoever. No hate, no anger, no sadness, just nothing. The exhausted look in his eyes remained, even more prominent than before. He just looked _dead_.

“Good game you guys played,” Sébastien congratulated. He didn't know what else to say.

Ryad nodded, silent. He was shaking slightly though. Sébastien didn't know why and he didn't ask. He took a deep breath. “You know what I wish?”

Ryad just stared at the other.

“I wish that we never drifted apart. I wish that we were still friends,” he said quietly.

Ryad’s expression became softer for a brief second before hardening again. The same emotions as when Ryan pushed Sébastien into the lockers cycled through, but there were some that were more prominent; fear, anger, and regret. “I-I wish that we never met,” Ryan said quietly. The words hit Sébastien like a freight train. He didn't even realize he had started crying. Years and years of friendship, just killed by six simple words. Sébastien didn't stick around to see what Ryan did afterward, but he heard the telltale sound of a fist striking a locker echoing through the halls, and he just turned and ran to his car, and drove straight to Elias’ house.

 

He showed up with tears running down his face and uncontrollable sobbing. Elias could easily guess what happened and sat Sébastien down on the couch with the softest and warmest blanket he could find. He brought Blitz out of his room and set the dog on his lap. Sébastien hugged Blitz and Elias turned into the kitchen to make some food.

 

“Did something happen?” Elias asked once he gave Sébastien chocolate filled pancakes with whipped cream and tea. Sébastien didn't hesitate to tell Elias what happened. The grim look on the German’s face told what words couldn’t. He softened up and pulled Sébastien into a hug, Blitz tried to squeeze in between the two.

 

~~

 

Sébastien spent the rest of the weekend at Elias’ house. The other didn't mind, in fact, he quite liked the company. They played video games, walked Blitz, watched movies, and avoided anything that might involve Ryad. Sébastien appreciated it. No matter how hard he tried to scrub the memories of the other man away from his mind, he couldn’t. Like a stubborn stain on a white shirt, he couldn’t kill the memories. He couldn’t kill the little kid he held so close to his heart.

 

~~

 

The other two football games went smoothly, without a hitch. Tina and Siu would always go up to Sébastien and Elias after a game to congratulate them. Grace, Liu, and Chul joined the two girls after the second game. They all quickly became a close-knit group.

 

Siu and Liu had invited everyone along to the next soccer match. Elias was hesitant, but Sébastien insisted they go. He wouldn’t let his issues with Ryad stand in the way of cheering on the people he was actually friends with. The game was tied. Everyone on both teams was trying their hardest, but some players were already losing hope on both ends. Scanning the field, Sébastien could see that Ryad was talking with the coach about something, and Chul was on the sidelines drinking water. Ryad called him over and talked for a few seconds before Chul jogged out onto the field. The coach put a hand on Ryad’s shoulder as he dragged a hand down his face. Ryad took a step back, turned around to face the field, took a single step, and collapsed. Silence filled the entire stadium as the coach called the paramedics on the sidelines. They hauled him away into the back of the ambulance and drove off. The game continued nonetheless.

 

They barely won, only because of a last-minute goal by Chul. Siu and Grace rushed down to the field after the game was over to ask what happened. Tina, Sébastien, and Elias followed shortly after.

“What happened to Ryad?” Grace asked the two soccer players.

Liu shrugged and Chul spoke up. “I believe it is fatigue. An extreme case.”

It made sense. The few times Sébastien has seen Ryad in the halls, he always looked exhausted. So much so to the point, he looked like he was about to pass out.

“I could try to hack into the hospital databases and cameras,” Grace offered.

Elias had taken Sébastien’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. Sébastien smiled sadly at the German. Worry was seeping through.

 

~~

 

Two days later, Ryad was still not back. Liu said the coach refused to talk about it, that the coach would just brush it off as the flu and left it at that. The six had collectively decided to have Grace hack into the hospital’s databases. Tina and Elias hesitated at first, worrying about how Sébastien would feel or react to whatever happened. He assured the two he would be fine.

 

It didn’t take too long for Grace to hack in. They were all at her house that she shared with Chul and was typing rapidly on her laptop. “I’m in,” she said after a couple minutes.

“What is it?” Siu asked, peering over Grace’s shoulder.

“There isn’t much. ‘Chronic insomnia, has muscular weariness, and double vision. At risk for hallucinations. Must be monitored closely,’” Grace read off the screen.

“That explains a lot,” Liu muttered. Siu nodded.

Grace scrolled down. “There's more but there from a couple months ago. ‘Signs of trauma and abuse; lower half.’”

“Let’s see if I can get into their feeds,” Grace cracked her knuckles and continued typing. A window popped up with surveillance video from Ryad’s room. He was hooked up to an IV drip and seemed to be dead, if not for the heartbeat monitor and his shallow breathing. She typed some more stuff and soon audio was heard.

 

A door opened in the room a man walked in with an oversized hoodie and messed up hair. He yelled something in broken Spanish.

Ryad didn't respond.

_“Did you get rid of the faggot?” The man asked._

_Ryad nodded._

_“Good.”_

Sébastien’s heart dropped. He knew who that man was, he remembered him. In middle school, he was one of the parents that picked up Ryad. He got yelled at when he took too long to get in the car. The pieces clicked together and Sébastien felt sick. He grabbed a hold of Elias’ hand and squeezed.

_The man reached over and grabbed Ryad’s left arm. Ryad flinched and the grip tightened. He nearly pulled him out of the bed and placed a large hand on the back of Ryad’s head, forcing the teen to look at him. Ryad tensed up and instinctively pulled back. The man frowned and pulled him back, tightening his grip. Ryad didn't dare to anger him any further and stayed still, visibly trembling and breathing heavily. The heart rate monitor sped up and Ryad grabbed the railing with his free hand with a white-knuckled grip. He whispered something in Ryad’s ear before letting him go and leaving the room._

_Ryad leaned back down onto the bed and brought his hands up to his face, still breathing heavily._

The others didn't seem to notice, but he heard a soft sob coming from the laptop. Sébastien couldn’t watch anymore. He let go of Elias’ hand and walked out of the room, making a beeline towards the porch in the backyard. He opened the door and grabbed a hold of the wood railing so hard the wood creaked. Sébastien heard the back door open and close silently.

Elias walked up to Sébastien and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “You knew who that was, didn’t you?” He asked quietly.

Sébastien nodded. “It’s all my fault,” he muttered.

“No, don’t say that you don’t know,” Elias pulled Sébastien into a hug.

“But I do! That was his foster father, he hates me. I-I know it’s my fault because he hates me because I was such good friends with him. Ryad even told me himself that his foster father hates me. I never knew why, but now I know. That ‘faggot’ that he talked about, is me,” Sébastien started crying. “You didn’t know him in elementary and middle school! You didn’t see the bruises that were on him! You didn’t see the one around his neck, the one on his hips, or the cuts! And I did nothing to help!”

 

~~

 

Sébastien was called down to the counselor's office the next day. The counselor seemed like a nice lady with long brown hair that was parted down in the middle, black framed glasses and a long, dark blue dress. “I’m worried about your friend,” she started. She crossed her legs and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

“Which friend?” Sébastien asked. He didn’t need to. He already knew what this was about.

“Ryad Ramirez.”

“What about him?”

“You two were close, weren’t you?”

“‘Were close,’ are the keywords here.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Sébastien thought back to the time Grace hacked into the hospital and his minimal interactions with him in the school. “I assume family problems. We haven’t talked much these past few years.”

“Some students had said he pushed you against some lockers during your second year, is that true?” She tapped her fingers on the back of her hand.

“Yes.” It suddenly became harder to breathe.

“Do you know why he did it?”

 _‘At risk for hallucinations.'_  “No.”

“Do you know anything about potential family problems?”

 _‘The hospital. The bruises. That_ **_monster_ ** _.’_  “No.”

She nodded. “That’s all, you can go back to class now.”

Sébastien didn’t think he could leave fast enough.

 

Ryad still wasn’t in school a week later. Grace had updated them that it was his foster father that was in the room with him that day, and he had Ryad discharged from the hospital. Everyone seemed relieved, but Sébastien just grew more worried. Would the abuse stop, now that Sébastien was out of his life, or would it get worse? Sébastien didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t know if he could keep it together. He never showed up for the rest of the year.

 

~~

 

The next year went by rather smoothly. Ryad never came back, and no one tried to question it. Chul had taken his place as captain of the soccer team. They all still went to all the games, cheering everyone on. Sébastien secretly wished that Ryad was still around. Even with everything they’ve been through, seeing him and knowing that he’s alright and alive would be better than not seeing him at all.

 

Sébastien and Elias were still together. Ryad had never come up as a conversation topic once. Sébastien’s mother was happy he found someone that loved and cared for him. Elias had told that he wanted to become a part of the German paramilitary, some sort of first-respondent for every problem that the police couldn’t get to in time. Sébastien had his own passion for becoming a police officer. They both fully supported each other, but that meant they would have to be separated. Elias had already been accepted into the program. They decided to spend one more night together, for old time’s sake.

 

~~

 

Sébastien’s mother had gone on another business trip overseas. He didn’t really mind, he could take care of himself. He had the news on while he was cleaning the house for background noise. Then, something caught his attention. The Mexican cartel had apparently robbed a series of stores. Sébastien stopped what he was going to watch.

“The Mexican cartel has robbed yet another series of stores today, all within a mile radius of one another. Three main suspects have been identified,” the newswoman paused and three pictures came up on screen. Sébastien’s heart dropped.

“Abel Alvarado, Vincente Rouco, and Ryad Ramirez. If you see any of these men, please contact your local officials.”

Sébastien didn’t know what to think. Part of him wasn’t surprised, the other was. He was gone for years. No one knows what had happened to him after he passed out during the soccer game or the hospital. Grace couldn’t track him down, and he soon disappeared from everyone’s minds.

 

Sébastien and Elias still stayed in contact even after he went to Germany. Elias had called him the instant he passed training and survived. Sébastien was happy for him. He had told Sébastien about the team he worked with, an engineer named Marius, an electronics specialist named Monika, and someone that was in the BGS, Dominic. Sébastien was happy that Elias found people he could trust. They talked on the phone that night, even with the rather extreme time difference. He told Elias about what he saw on the news. Elias gave Sébastien his two cents about the situation, essentially telling him not to worry too much.

 

~~

 

A month later, Sébastien passed his basic training and became a full-fledged officer. Elias had flown over from Germany that week with his team and they all went out for dinner. That night was one of the best in his life.

 

Sébastien heard a noise coming from the living room in the middle of the night two months later. He knew it wouldn’t be his mother, as she had officially moved to London for her work. He grabbed his standard issue police radio and called in, saying there could be an intruder in his house. He said to wait until he called in again before doing anything. He took out his standard issue nine millimeter from the nightstand drawer and slowly made his way into the living room. He heard labored breathing and coughing from the dark room and readied his pistol, turning on the lights.

 

It was Ryad, covering his eyes from the lights with a bloodied hand. “You still remember me?” Ryad gasped, clutching his bleeding stomach. The tired gaze in his eyes still remained after all those years. Blood soaked through the light gray jacket he wore. Sébastien remembers seeing Faisal wearing it every time he picked up Ryad from school.

Sébastien quickly called in to send immediate medical assistance to his location and ran over. “Of course I do, you fucking idiot!” He took a discarded sweater off the ground and started pressing down on the wound with the shirt. He eased up slightly when Ryad cried out in pain. Sébastien helped Ryad sit up straighter.

Ryad chuckled lightly and leaned back onto Sébastien’s chest. “You remind me of my brother,” he said quietly.

“Yes, I know your brother. He was a good man.” Sébastien tried to remain calm. He didn’t know if he could keep up the facade for five minutes while the paramedics came.

“W-what else do you know? That you remember?” The color was starting to drain from Ryad’s face.

Sébastien held onto him tighter. “I know that your favorite color is purple, I know you have a friend in Spain named Elena. You’ve said she’s like a sister to you. I know you were abused by your father, I know you cut off all ties with me because you were afraid, and I don’t blame you for it. And - and…” Sébastien faltered. “And we were best friends.”

“I’m sorry… I really am… I never wanted any of that to happen. I know you might hate me, but I really am sorry. I’ve missed you.” Ryad’s voice grew quieter and quieter.

“No, no, don’t blame yourself,” Sébastien hugged Ryad tighter. The words he needed to say just couldn’t make their way out. The paramedics couldn’t get here any sooner, Sébastien _needed_ them to come sooner.

“Y-you still haven’t changed,” Ryad smiled sadly.

“What do you mean?”

“Your key,” Ryad held up a bloody key. “It was still in the tree. We put it in there when we were six, remember? Your mother got mad when she couldn’t find it, but she could never be mad for long. She then made us cocoa.” A tear fell from his eye.

Sébastien remembered. No matter how hard he tried, he could never forget all the happy times he had with Ryad when they were kids. “Yes, I remember.” Blood soaked through the sweater. There were still no signs of the paramedics.

“I know you hate me, but I’m sorry I hurt you. I wish things were different,” Ryad dropped the key and reached up to lightly pat Sébastien’s face two times, a gesture he used to always do. Sébastien used to hate it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that.

“I do too,” Sébastien whispered.

Ryad smirked and place his hand down on top of Sébastien’s. His breathing soon slowed to a stop. Sébastien tensed up and held Ryad tighter. “No, no no no, you fucking asshole, you don’t get to die on me now!” He yelled, lightly shaking the other. Ryad wouldn’t wake up. He didn’t breathe. A sob forced its way out and he screamed. His former best friend just bled out in his arms. _Ryad_ had just died in his arms. Sébastien cried, holding Ryad closer. Tears soaked through the jacket. Blood soaked hands held him tight, holding him by the back of the head and the center of his back, as if it would bring Ryad back, because, in Sébastien’s eyes, he wasn’t holding the Ryad he knew in high school, he was holding the Ryad he knew in elementary school, the one he held so near his heart, the one he could never forget, but he knew he was holding the Ryad that thought Sébastien hated him. 

"I could never hate you," Sébastien cried. "Please, don't go..." 

 

~~ 

 

When the paramedics arrived, Sebastian was still holding onto Ryad. He didn't care that the blood became cold, or that it stuck to his skin. He just sat there, on his living room floor, holding a cold body. The paramedics came through the unlocked door and took Ryad away. Some of Sébastien's police friends escorted him out of his house, placing a shock blanket over his shoulders. Everyone was saying things, but Sébastien heard none of it. He just stared blankly ahead as the paramedics lowered Ryad's body into a black body bag before taking him away. The CSI showed up soon. They taped off his entire yard and living room, took pictures, everything. In the end, Sébastien didn't even care. He just cared that he didn't say what he needed to when he was still able. Ryad died believing Sébastien hated him, all because he couldn't say four measly words. Now, it was too late. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> YEAH I ALMOST CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS SO YEAH  
> I'm debating on writing a version of this that focuses more on Jackal and what he went through, please let me know if you want me to do that
> 
> (I sure hope you don't hate me for what I did to Jackal... And what I imply happened to him....)


End file.
